Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
