i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
