Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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