i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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