Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think your dad took our porno
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
