Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
