Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
