Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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