4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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