I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
