my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
