I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
