Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
