I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
