Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
