did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize