she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
