Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
