I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
