party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize