you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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