i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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