she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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