my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
