she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
