I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
