OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize