i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
