It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
