I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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