Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize