did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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