so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
