He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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