also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
