Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
