i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
