Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you would pick up someone in the library
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
