This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize