oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
