Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
