this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
