Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
