maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
