After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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