How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
