Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
