I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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