Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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