the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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