I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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