ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
