I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
