i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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