Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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