Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
