Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize