Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
