Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
