My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
