I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
These tits shall not be calmed
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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