not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
