Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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