Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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