My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
