i would punch a child for taco bell
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
