I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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