She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
