covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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