marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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