Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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