So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
