I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
