Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
